Story Snippets, No 5.

This is basically a continuation of SS, No. 4 – there were so many good snippets in my interview with Eddie Money that I just have to give you more – and tell you who they were with.

I’ve always been a huge fan of Mr. Money (nee Mahoney), so talking to him was a true treat for me. Without further ado, let’s get this party started:

“I’m so sorry, I got this new phone, it rings, you then you have to put it on contacts. You know, an iPhone is like working a computer, and I’m from the ’70s, so the last thing in the world I want to do is get on a computer.”

“I wanted to play a little golf today. People ask me how I play golf, and I say, ‘I play like Stevie Wonder at night.’”

“Do you make a good ‘gravy’?”
(“gravy” is a term we Italians call sauce.)

“I love good Italian food. I ate at the Olive Garden yesterday, and it wasn’t worth it. I’m not that kinda lasagna guy.”

“They go over (to Afghanistan) and the husbands are watching the kids, Jesus, I’d talk the wife into retiring to let me go — I don’t know what’s worse, being in a battle zone or being three-, four-, five- or seven-year olds!”

“I thought I was talking to someone who was 18 or 19 years old. I thought I was talking to a college paper!”

“I tell everyone if I have another kid, I’ll name him Owen.”

“My wife just bought a Great Dane, I don’t know what’s wrong with these women, and we also have two Basset hounds, when my car pulls in the driveway, they just love their daddy.”

“I love that Great Dane, that tail of his! If you stand next to him and get whipped with that tail, he’s going to leave a mark in your leg.”

“I really do miss my dogs, I feel guilty because I miss my dogs more than I miss my kids (laughs), and you can quote me on that.”

“It’s amazing to see little girls who are six or seven years old know ‘I Think I’m in Love,’ I actually put them on stage and they know all the words. Sometimes I forget ’em for Christ’s sake, but I’m from the ’60s and ’70s, in my day they said cocaine was not addictive, (shouts) ‘Live from Betty Ford, it’s the Eddie Money’ show'” (bursts out laughing)

Money played locally a few years ago. During the show, he said he had his probation officer in tow and asked the audience if anyone could give him clean urine. This is what he had to say about that:
“That was a joke, I gotta stop using that. A lot of people don’t get that. I’ve kinda got a weird personality, that was just a joke (laughs). Because I’m so sober, I like getting on stage saying, ‘Sorry I drank that quart of vodka, I’ll try to give you a good show.’ But I gotta stop using that.”

“I think it’s funny, but a lot of people don’t say. My wife hates that clean urine joke.”

“I’ve always wanted to be a comedian, my mother says, ‘You’re not funny, they pay to see you sing.’ And the guys in the band have heard the jokes so many times, I turn to look at them and feel like I’m staring at Mount Rushmore, I told them that I’m fining every one of them if they don’t laugh at my jokes – they get a $20 fine if they don’t laugh.”

NMM

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About nikkimmascali

I am an editor, writer and New Yorker who has ink for blood and the blog name + tattoo to prove it. Also of note: I follow more dogs than people on Instagram. This is my blog about reading, writing and absolutely no 'rithmetic because I am horrendous at math.
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